The reason this site exists really is just to braindump all of my thougths here safely. I don't have supportive friends, as evidenced by the constant mocking of my mental issues, ghosting when i get stressed out, etc. this is fine, i signed up for it by opting to hang out with them. i need to get new friends, find someone else to talk to, but the idea of meeting new people makes me want to vomit. at least i have May, but theres only so much they can do from their position, which is fine. they shouldnt have to cater to my needs anyway. usually none of this would bother me, but unfortuntely, the majority of their friends have really shown how little they care for me and i just feel angry. like a rabid dog backed into a corner. maybe thats all i am, a rabid dog looking to bite and maime. maybe isolation really is the best way to ensure safety.