i was going to do it. had the gun ready and a plan and everything. just never got a chance to and now i feel stupid, like i missed out on an escape. i genuinely feel as if everyone would be happier if i wasnt in their lives. i know im toxic, borderline evil. i need to quit being a bitch and do it, for their sakes. this is the eternal struggle. preparing to do it, getting ready, then bitching out at the last second. i need to quit being scared of it. if i do it right, it wont hurt at all.